Writing my new upcoming book “In The Middle of the Mess” is the hardest project I’ve ever undertaken. Half way through, I almost quit as it felt too raw and a bit too vulnerable. I’ve always been fairly open about my struggles with depression.
But I’ve never talked about another battle, an ongoing battle with suicidal thoughts. Some things are still never talked about in the Church as there is so much shame attached.
Last year however I spoke at an event with about 5,000 women and as I came to the close of the message I felt the Holy Spirit move me in a direction I’ve never gone before. I asked the audience if they have ever struggled with suicidal thoughts or if they were cutters to join me at the front. I stood with tears pouring down my face as over 300 women, ages 14 to 73 joined me.
Honestly, I was shocked but it made me realize that this is a dark corner in the Church where we need to shine the light of Christ. We think our secrets keep us safe but the opposite is true, they keep us in bondage. It’s not just suicidal thoughts there are so many areas where we struggle alone . So many messes. Illness, divorce, job loss, depression and life changes.
Yet James wrote, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” 5:16
The truth is that life is a mess but we are not alone and together, in Christ, we can find strength to live this beautiful, broken life.
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